THURSDAY 31st January 2008
Driving down Sandalwood Parkway Nicole Cedrone reads the sign outside Lake Heart United Church: LYING IN BED SHOUTING OH GOD DOESNT CONSTITUTE GOING TO CHURCH. Back home, she starts calling people to share her moral outrage.
WEDNESDAY, 30th January 2008
In a car parked outside the Boy Scouts of America HQ in San Rafael, they slept. Peering in, the policeman spied the litter of syringes and wraps. At 51 Robert Estournes has a lifetime of offences behind him; at 21 Jennifer Jeffries is just starting out.
TUESDAY, 29th January 2008
Their parents tried to split them up, so Gage Petherbridge eloped with Hannah McConnell, taking the Pontiac, Mandy the dog and $680. He was 15, she two years younger. Nine days and 1300 miles later they were spotted chasing seagulls on a Louisiana beach.
MONDAY, 28th January 2008
Only after she’d given him £607,468.90 and fathered his child did Christine Handy start to wonder whether her lover really was Alex de Rothschild, the monied illegitimate offspring of a multi-millionaire, as he claimed. The cad has fled.
MONDAY, 28 January 2008
Unseen, someone smears four red lines of lipstick on the light-blue, $3,400 dress young Jessica Wittenbrink was about to put on at the Miss South Florida Fair pageant. When she spots it, Jessica bursts into tears. She wins, nevertheless, leading malicious tongues to suggest she soiled it herself.
FRIDAY, 25th January 2008
Driving east on Okeechobee, West Palm Beach, Florida, Anthony Cristante spots the woman standing on the flyover above, hands raised. Seconds later, in his rear-view mirror, he sees her fall. Slamming into the white delivery van, thousands of dollars fly from her pockets.
THURSDAY, 24th January 2008
When Kazuo Noiri, 53, was caught shoplifting two cans of soft drinks worth only £1.20, Kawasaki police discovered £45,000 in yen sewn into his pockets. “I don’t trust banks,” Kazuo explained.
WEDNESDAY, 23rd January 2008
Swearing vengence on the cyclist who almost ran him down there, Warren Wilson dug 50 holes in the Laguna Lake Park cyclepath, sometimes covering them so riders couldn’t spot them.
TUESDAY, 22nd January 2008
By 14, Tracia Owen has moved 60 times, from children’s homes to carers, to her alcoholic parents and back again. She spends her last day selling her body for crack in Winnipeg, then beds down in a garage on a filthy mattress, next to a friend who wakes to find Tracia dangling […]
TUESDAY, 22nd January 2008
When Katy Thornes discovered £100 and her credit card had vanished from her bag, her colleague Lyndsey blamed the inmates the two podiatrists had just been treating at Haverigg jail. But a few days later Lyndsey Graham is trying on clothes at Top Shop, paying with Katy’s card.
In 1906 the critic Félix Fénéon wrote a column for the Parisian newspaper Le Matin called Nouvelles En Trois Lignes, which translates simultaneously as "News In Three Lines" and "Novellas In Three Lines".
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