MONDAY 8 September 2008
The career of Duane Moore, better known as Tony Eveready, appears to be over. The star of Black Gang Bangers 3 and Bang My White Ass is commencing a six-year sentence following the discovery, in his car, of several guns and the coke he sold to earn money between roles.
MONDAY April 21st 2008
David Blaisdell, 64, in court on charges of stalking and violating a protective order, arrived drunk, adorned in a rhinstone studded Elvis costume and sunglasses. Three days in jail for contempt of court.
SATURDAY 29th March 20th 2008
Impatient to install his satellite dish, Ronald Long of Deepwater, Missouri, thought he’d found a quicker way to punch a hole in his bedroom wall: a .22 handgun. Unfortunately his wife was in the garden outside. She was dead on arrival at the hospital.
TUESDAY 18th March 2008
For leaving her four-month-old baby in a shed for an hour and a half, Shonda Shelton has been sentenced for a year in jail.
WEDNESDAY 12th March 2008
Desiring further Aryan Nation tattoos, neo-Nazi trucker Michael Myers was infuriated when tattooist neighbour Thomas Keith refused on grounds of their content. Enraged, Michael attempted to mow down Thomas in his truck.
TUESDAY 11th March 2008
Andrew Wilson smiled when he told his lawyers it was him who murdered the security guard at the Chicago Macdonald’s back in 82, knowing they couldn’t tell a soul. So far Alton Logan has served 26 years for the killing.
FRIDAY 7th March 2008
After taking his kids to the Little League game, Paul Humpfner came home crying. A colleague he met there had told him how his wife Jacqueline had slept with the man’s 30-year-old son. Upset though he was, Paul complains he never hit Jacqueline with the baseball bat, like she’s saying.
THURSDAY 6 March 2008
Poor Pastor Lee Graff is accused of a “crime against nature” by Virginia police after he approached a male officer posing as a prostitute in Park Road Park, just down the road from his church.
TUESDAY 4th March 2008
When Steve McMillan stabbed Shanesha Stewart to death in her Bronx apartment, police concluded she’d been killed by a customer, enraged at the discovery that Shanesha was formerly a man. But it turns out that Steve was a neighbour who’d known her for years.
TUESDAY 19th February 2008
For two years Desmone Bastian had waved her through his border post in exchange for liaisons in nearby hotels. But that night Bastian was working a different lane so Sandra Maas was caught at the US border with nearly 3,000 Oxycodone tablets hidden in her underwear.
In 1906 the critic Félix Fénéon wrote a column for the Parisian newspaper Le Matin called Nouvelles En Trois Lignes, which translates simultaneously as "News In Three Lines" and "Novellas In Three Lines".
Steve Larder's Rum Lad fanzine
